Enemy at the Gates

It’s been a couple of days ago since I’ve written something… started a new job. The night before my first working day I slept 4 hours, and the night before my second working day I slept 2 hours, because I went out that night… So I’ve been sleeping and working basically :).

Last Thursday I was talking to someone, and she told me that she thought it was too obvious that during our conversation I clearly ‘shut down’ some subjects. She said that I have this wall around me with some locked gates in it, and that I only open the gates if I want people to enter…

I was astonished…not because of the fact that she saw this (coz I really work like that, and most people know I work like that), but because she found it out in such a short period of time! And above all: That she used the same metaphors as I use to explain myself to others.
The thing she didn’t mention was that she worked exactly the same way, and I think that everybody works that way. The only difference is that some people open all their gates after one ‘request’ and others might open only some of them if you’ve earned their trust.
Myself I prefer people to work like me, or work in an even more complicated way. If people open themselves too fast, there might be nothing they need to protect, need to hide, or need to cherish. And if that’s the case, well, they are not interesting for me, no matter how arrogant that may sound to you.

Very often I meet people who come into my range of interest. My mind makes some selection (I haven’t found out how that procedure works), and after that very strict selection, some people are left. And then the hard part starts… It’s all about gaining trust, and that can take some while. This is of course no problem, as long as there is al least some progression all the time. If people go to fast, no gates will open, if people go to slow, they don’t even reach any gate. There are also people who don’t even see an open gate. And then there are the people who I really don’t get, and that are the people who are starting to get somewhere, and then completely fuck it up by one action or another. If you want to get somewhere after fucking up, well, you might work at least double as hard as before, and if that’s too much for you, then you’re not worth it anyway.

And don’t pretend to know me after reading this :D, as you’re no further in getting to know me before you read this. And want to know why I wrote this down? That’s a good question, as I haven’t got a clue myself… at least it’s another piece of text in my blog, so it serves a goal after all…