Shiny happy people

Summer is getting near. And you can read it form peoples faces. The sun really changes people. Like the throw away their fur and frolic around, just like shaved sheep who are recently released.
But it’s really true. People are smiling and are complaisant. And it looks like everybody wants others to see that they are. They want to get rid of the grey mass were they used to belong to during the dark days. And that effects the people around them as well, it’s one big synergy.

But that same big amplification also seems to make people more senseless. The best example I can think of is traffic. If I have to count the number of situations where I was almost run over by a car, almost had collisions with other cyclist, or even the number of emergency stops the tram makes, and I would get a euro for every situation, I would be rich now. But even if the horns make their alarming and neck hair arising sounds, and the bicycles bells make their tempered tinkling noises, people stay friendly and are making as much gesticulating motions as possible to say that they are sorry. And then life goes on as before, like nothing happened.

And the sun does the same to me. I’m in a good mood. Not only the scalding thing high in the sky… but also my personal sunshine realizes this feeling inside me. I’m happy, I’m blissful, and I’m proud. Proud that human beings apparently know how to enjoy life.

Yes, let spring do its work, and let the summer intensify it even more…

[Posted in: Utrecht, Netherlands]

For Nicole

As I got a request to post something in Dutch: Nicole, here it comes.

LEER ENGELS!!! =)

[Posted in: Ljubljana, Slovenia]

From Slovenia with Love

Just to let people know I'm still alive: a short post.

I moved my ass temporary to Slovenia. I arrived previous Saturday... and will leave next Tuesday again. For some reason the good things alway have an ending... but on the other hand... also the bad things come to an end. Not that it makes any difference for me; I mean, I really lived towards these days, and I'm really enjoying... but it's so fucked up. Leaving this country for me means leaving the person behind I really love. And if it makes any sense: I'm not leaving her behind in a way that she will be forgotten, I can asure everyone that the opposite will happen.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not being depressed or whatever, I'm actually really happy (and in love) now, and for sure when I'm back home and I'll look back at these days, a rush of adrenaline will pump through my venes and an immense smile will appear on my face again.

Well... I'll continue this story another time. It's better for me, coz I don't want it to get in my head too much for the remaining time I'm here.

So: will be continued... and hopefully love will be continued as well

[Posted in: Ljubljana, Slovenia]

A Special World

A Special World

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

- Sheelagh Lennon -

[Posted in: Utrecht, Netherlands]

Bookreview: Ensaio sobre a Cegueira, José Saramago

Too long nothing from me. So starting over (again). I’m going to make this blog more alternating; more different subject and stuff. And to start with that: Here’s my first book review.

De stad de Blinden (Ensaio sobre a Cegueira), José Saramago

The book
I’ve read the Dutch version of ‘Ensaio sobre a Cegueira’ translated by Harrie Lemmens.

The book is actually quite accessible. In Lisbon all inhabitants gradually lose their eyesight. What first occurred to be an exception turns out to become a common thing.. But the inhabitants organize themselves be it in another way then before. With the loss of their visual capabilities, also their ethical restrictions seem to perish: with the loss of their eyesight, there is something that becomes visible: The true heart of mankind.

My comments
This book doesn’t really aim a spotlight on the positive side of mankind; it rather sheds some light on our fundamental ideas. Nevertheless it’s not a negative or pessimistic book. Also trust and love of one’s fellow man, charity, the power of a human being to survive even the most exceptional conditions and the remarkable inventiveness to save one and their beloved ones in difficult times, are to be found in this book. Although I personally think that the book ends quite abrupt, it does end with a positive annotation, in new self-confidence, when people get their eyesight back.

The authors style of writing
I've never read one of Saramago’s books before, so the first thing I noticed when I opened the book was his way of writing. Not that I think that Saramago is a complicated author. His style has some, I think typical, characteristics where you get used to in a couple of pages. The pages are completely filled with text; almost none white spaces are to be found. The dialogues and multilateral conversations are written in a successively way, and only commas and capitals notify you that another person is about to speak.
Furthermore I like the ironic way the author used to write down the story. He writes from a distance. For example: On a certain moment there has to be voted. The leader of the group of blind people asks everybody to raise their hands. As a reader you know immediately that this doesn’t make sense as everybody is blind. But Saramago explains these automatisms of the characters into detail. And that makes you, being the reader, to be ‘above’ the whole story. In this way you’re not being dragged along the story, but it makes you think about the consequences as they are presented: an expanding blindness which doesn’t respect anyone.

Score
Sores from 1 to 10 (1 = abhorring, 10 = excellent)

Content: 8
Style: 8½

[Posted in: Utrecht, Netherlands]

Hidden thoughts

I haven't written anything for over a week. I can't say what it is. but it feels like I haven't anything to write about. No let's rephrase that one, I know what I want to write about, but I just can't find the way to write about it. Yeah, still there? Good... Well, it's not that I don't want t write, I've just got some kind of indeterminate feeling that I don't know how to express myself. And I really want to shout so much stuff to the world. So what's the suppressing thing? I haven't got a fucking clue... but I'm not going to get tempered. I''m as calm as can be, trying to find a solution; or better, trying to find the problem.

Nope... haven't found it yet...

What might have something to do with it it is the following. This morning when I got into the tram, I thought I got a heart-attack, as I saw somebody who looked sooooo much like a person I'm not prepared for to see, coz I don't even know if I want to see her at all. Now or ever. So I just walked by that person and didn't look back. But for sure it was like I got some high voltage shock or something.
Well, as I haven't thought about that person for a long long time (yes, on purpose I was trying to withhold the thought to appear, coz it only would make me feel totally miserable again), but now all day long she appearedon my mind, like in short flashes. I must say that it wasn't annoying at all. It was more like some voice in my head wass saying: "Hey! I'm still in here, please give me some attention, I've been put away for way to long right now." So the voice got my attention, but I'm not willing to spend a lot of energy on that subject, but deep inside me my subconsciousness is starting to spend time on it.

So after I finished working today, it started to distract me more and more, and it's getting in the way of other thoughts, which I think have first right to be taken care of and which are trying to fight their way out... Well, at the social meeting of AEGEE-Utrecht tonight the distraction was actually so big that I must have seemd 'absent' to some people (and Nicole, as I know that you'll be reading this anyway, sorry for that).
So now I'm in doubt... keep it in, or let it out...

[Posted in: Utrecht, Netherlands]

Innocence

I just returned from a weekend in Hulsthorst at the Veluwe National Park. We stayed with around 20 people in some some kind of semi-luxury accomodation. It was a long time ago that I had such a big snowballfigh, my arm still hurts from the throwing :)

The last evening, till deep into the night, I did a 'game' with 5 other people: Think of a subject within a certain frame work, and extract a question - so something like: What's the thing in life you regret most. Or, what is the scariest thing you ever experienced. In the middle of the group there was a bottle which had to be turned around, an he person who the bottle pointed at, had to answer the question, no ways out, only probity. Even though you can never be sure that people are 100 percent honest, I can only asume that everyone was.

The aim of the game is to get to know things about people you never knew before. Of course the answers led to discussions and more disclosures. I don't kow what to say more about it, but the people who know me quite well, know that for me this game could also be seen as some kind of therapeutic session. And it worked. I didn't hesitate to answer, and at the moment the question was formulated, I already had an anwer ready.

It was such a relaxing feeling that I could say these things without a problem, that I regretted that I became to tired to go on with it, and I went to bed at 5.45h in the morning.

Okay, something else: Something happend to me, which had a huge impact on me. When I was riding my bike towards the train station to go to the Veluwe, a girl fom around 10 years old was riding her bike approximately 20 meters in front of me, when she slipped (it was icy on the road) and crashed on to the asphalt. Obviously she hurt herself, and I got off my bike to help her. The girl was crying and she looked so frightened. I helped her to get up and I started asking if she was okay, if she could still move her arms and legs, and I was just trying to set her at ease by talking to her. And why I was doing that, you could see in her eyes that she trusted me, and she completely calmed down. When I was sure everything was okay, I wrote down my name and telephonenumber on a piece of paper, so that her parents could contact me if they had any questions. Then the girl gave me a hug and got on to her bike a gain. She waved at me, I waved back, and then she disappearred around the corner of the street.

I still get the shivers if I see her grateful face in my thoughts. Isn't it fantastic, that a child can have this effect on you? Children are so innocent, it's heartwarming...

[Posted in: Utrecht, Netherlands]